Let me tell you why I’m beautiful

Let me tell you why I’m beautiful

I strut when I walk out of showers

I laugh at jokes no human will ever understand

I hate cats but love tigers

I love dogs but jump whenever one comes near me

I’m terrified of non-human skin


My laugh changes every few months but is always as annoying

I know my mind but am unsure of my heart

I’m happy with my body but still want to lose a few pounds


I’m fucking awesome

But still cry myself to sleep sometimes

I’m so in love with me

But still schedule appointments for ‘self-pity’ days


I imagine if I ever found a man to love me (I apologise for how sad that sounds)

He will probably be excited about my curves

Maybe even turned on by my thighs

But what he’ll love?

Maybe my ambition

Maybe my sincerity

Maybe the way I laugh with contagious insouciance

Maybe the childlike glint I get when I talk about Disney. Or romcoms. Or my favourite books

Maybe my surprising sense of adventure


Maybe he’ll look at me one day

At 6am, when drool has dried up at one corner of my mouth

And my hair looks like Angelica’s Cynthia doll

And my breath is unforgivable


But I’ve got headphones in

And I’m watching my favourite stand-up comedian

Whilst desperately trying to stifle the nerdy laughter coming from deep within my belly

And he’ll look at me and say…

‘Wow… you’re beautiful’




‘Now go brush your teeth’



Talk to me

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